You know how men reach a time in their lives when they have the sudden urge to marry?

Javert had never had that urge.

He had enough with Jean Valjean to go to hell and back for the rest of his life and they weren’t even married. Revenge was already served. Valjean had it all: he was jealous, possessive, voluble, ever changing, sickly, he cried for no reason -and sometimes for particular reasons too-, he spent too much, he got into everyone’s business... And if Javert went on he’d at one point notice that it was already Monday and at the present time, it was actually Tuesday.

He was actually thinking about the fact that Valjean really did NOT like it when Javert got drunk -he was TRYING, okay? Get off his back- and used his emotional blackmail whenever Javert DID get drunk, every time he did it, it was the same scene, every time he showed up at Valjean’s door drunk, he would almost burst into tears and there would be an argument of sorts.
“Don’t you realize that when you get drunk I can’t sleep?”
“That’s your problem! I don’t care, I didn’t even remember you! I thought you were a bloody nightmare!”

That night Javert slept outside in the hall.

But one day, it happened that it was Valjean who went out to drink, under the argument that he wanted Javert to know what it felt like... And that was when Javert actually took the idea of quitting alcohol quite seriously.

Javert didn’t even know... He was calmly watching TV when James called him, because James was kind of like Valjean, but less attractive, he liked to meddle into people’s business. Javert answered.
“Yes?”
“Hey, where are you?”
“In the house, idiot. Where are you calling?” Javert rolled his eyes.
“No, it’s just that we saw your car outside the bar and went inside to find you and we found Valjean drinking there instead.”

And then Javert realized it DID feel terrible to hear something like that. He was a little shocked at the beginning, he looked at the phone, frowning and hung up, thinking ‘Wrong number, stupid people dialing without checking...’

But when he thought about it, there wasn’t really a problem with the fact that Valjean had decided to go out and drink, it wasn’t like he ever went out on his own and had fun, and besides, he had a lot of work, with the paperwork from the building and having to tend to everything around it and also sometimes being part time nanny for Cossette’s two kids -who were spoiled little devils-, and then he went back to his apartment and cleaned up and made dinner for said kids and on Thursdays, for him, and then he had to go and buy groceries and do other chores, so he thought it was okay.

The problem was this: James had called him 20 minutes before 10pm.

Two in the morning and Valjean still hadn’t arrived. Javert’s first thougt was ‘Four hours aren’t enough to get drunk? I start dancing on tables in an hour and a half!’ It was two in the morning and Javert realized that Valjean was right: One cannot possibly sleep if their partner isn’t there and hasn’t arrived. He was in the bed they shared on Thursdays -or more frequently after a few months- tossing and turning. He discovered that at this point he was suffering from extreme emotional oscillations because he first hated Valjean’s guts, and then he started missing him, and then he hated him again, only to go and think ‘Why the devil isn’t he calling me? It’s almost three am!’

And hating him and missing him, he felt so impotent to do anything, he wanted to curse but there wasn’t anyone to curse, and he wanted to punch someone but there wasn’t anyone to punch either!

His thoughts varied. When he hated him, he thought ‘Alright, to hell with this blasted, drunken irresponsible man! I’m an idiot for missing him! I hope he hits his face with a street light or crashes the car against a tree and I hope the tree falls off and they make him pay it as national damage!’ and then he missed him and thought ‘No, you idiot! It’s your car! And what if he crashes the car and dies, who’s going to pay the funeral? Of course, me!’

At four am, Valjean FINALLY arrived, completely wasted, he was so drunk he couldn’t even put a foot on the step to enter the bedroom, when he was finally inside the room; Javert played a card he knew Valjean played a lot. He pretended to sleep. But much to his annoyance, Jean Valjean walked inside the room and turned the light on. How unnerving it is when someone turns on the light when you pretend to be sleeping!

To add to his misery, the older man walked to the bed with one of those roll-on deodorants, and started poking Javert’s sides with it. Javert was so amazingly annoyed at this point that he got up from the bed, glaring at the older man and screaming.
“YES, I KNOW YOU’RE DRUNK, BUT ARE YOU CRAZY OR WHAT?!”
“I just wanted you to know...” Valjean answered, in a very drunken voice. “What it feels like when you come to bed drunk and you can’t put your dick where it’s supposed to go!”

And that was the day when Javert decided to REALLY try and stop drinking...